On this resurrection and not ignoring ourselves.
Remembering the season that was for healing and now stepping into passion.
Hello from the parking lot of the church where my son is playing futsol. Is there any better situation that describes my life and where it is headed? We are headed deep into the chauffeur era with my kids, and as I sit I can feel my teeth clenching. The loaded schedule is worth it. The pursuit of passions, vital. But to everything there is a cost, and in this season, it means we live in the cracks.
I remember seasons where I had to say "no" to my own passions, because I was so deep in my own darkness. Five years ago I was deep in postpartum depression, not even having the clarity of mind to see that crying for no reason isn't normal. Not seeing the connections to my skin eruptions and utter lack of motivation. I had said "yes" to an opportunity I would have normally dreamed of taking, and although my calendar was mostly empty, I had to turn around and reject the offer because I knew I didn't have it in me to add another thing to my plate.
It wasn't my season for work or for blooming or really for growing much at all. It was a season of healing. Of seeds being planted that would become yet another thread of passion that leads me here today.
It is a gift to be able to wrestle and find ways to make it all fit. It is a gift that I have found a path that I believe speaks to my gifts and my passions, and to be able to mold that to shape who I'm created to be.
Long before my pursuit of coaching, I was a writer. I wrote my own stories of motherhood and faith and questions and longing. I was a mommy blogger in pre-instagram years (and I still claim that it died with Google Reader.) For years, writing was my creative outlet and my lifeline in so many ways.
I have always said that I can tell my own emotional health by how much I am writing. I now encourage my clients to do the same. To find their own barometer of creative health. What do you engage with creatively that makes you feel most alive? I have become a believer that without some level of passion and creativity we will never find health. Perhaps we find the solution to your bloat, acne, and period troubles, and yet you still carry out your days without really feeling alive? Are you actually healed? The whole you? Or just your vessel?
I refuse to be a coach that allows you to focus on your body alone - and never give notice to the rest of who you are. I have looked for cookie cutter ways to work this out with people. Maybe there is a certain type of certification that teaches someone how to identify areas in which others are suppressed and bound and not living in freedom. If you know of that certification, please let me know. (Is this a life coach?) But what I have found with the people I've worked with, that each person's journey is different. As we start to heal the body, the mind and emotions naturally want to catch up. It is not uncommon to get to a certain point in protocols and have a client message me asking, "next call, can we talk about lies I'm believing and steps to surrendering that?" Not out of the blue, of course. But because of the sprinkles of whole-hearted living that have shown up in conversations before. I know that they will know when they’re ready to dig deeper.
Sometimes it is our physical bondage - the limitations that come with our autoimmune disease or chronic pain that leads to emotional suppression and stagnation. Other times - we experience emotional stress and trauma, and it leads to chronic digestive issues and severe hormone imbalances. All I know is, chicken or egg, we are all whole people, and we cannot live fully if we don’t give attention to each part of ourselves.
Which leads me to the resurrection of this substack. I am fully myself when I am writing and sharing. This substack may end up being some about health coaching, but it will be far more casual than emails I've tried to send out in the past. Sometimes it will contain stories and thoughts from my own life. Sometimes it will be sharing links to things I'm learning and have enjoyed reading. Sometimes it probably will be a case study on what I've found with a client, if I think it will help others.
In any case, this is a space for me and for you. To get to know each other and figure out what a life that is truly whole and healed looks like. I’m so happy you’ve joined me here.
Logistically - for now this will remain free. I don’t know that I’ll ever put up a paywall, unless it ends up making sense. I’m really excited to not have character limits or much expectation in this space. This feels more like “home” to me than instagram ever did. This really is a place to engage with me on a deeper level and get to know the heart behind the health coach.